Mistake #1 – Thinking joy is something it’s
not. I made this mistake too. I thought it was some kind of “floaty”
elevated experience only seldom experienced by mere mortals such as myself. I
learned from Dr. Jim Wilder[1]
that it does not have to be a huge ecstatic experience. Instead, joy is…
…produced when someone is glad to see me. [2] And
I would add, and “you are/were glad to be with them!”
Joy can have many levels of intensity. It can be the feeling you
had as a child when your mother made chocolate pudding and let you lick the
spoon. Everything within you and about you enjoyed licking the bits of pudding
from the pan and the spoon. Your delight and appreciation brought a smile to
her face as her eyes danced with delight at your delight.
Joy can be the wave of appreciation that washes over you when
you call a trustee to come help fix a problem with the heating system…on his
day off and he comes cheerfully.
Joy can be the feeling you have when you hear your favorite
singer, favorite instrumental piece, or the voice of a loved one. It can be the
quiet contentment of snuggles with your spouse or another family member.
It can also be the fun of a family get together with stories
flying, a conference well executed or your favorite kind of adrenaline rush
that leaves your body vibrating and blood pulsing.
Joy is like that—it has a rhythm of rising and falling from
intensity to quietly resting calm. It is all joy and our bodies are built for
that rhythm. Our brains need both the intensity and the rest from intensity in
the same way that our muscles need vigorous exercise and then rest.
Another hallmark of joy is the smiles, the face lighting up and
the eyes sparkling. Joy lights you up.
Mistake #2 — Substitute pseudo-joy for the
real thing. If some of the 19 relational brain skills dropped out of your
family, you never had the opportunity to learn them. You may have learned that
BEEPS provide a brain
chemistry mix that is similar to joy. Your body craves joy; it runs on joy but
if pseudo-joy is all you know, then that is where you turn. Do you
self-medicate to calm your cravings? Instead of following the addictive
directive, use your craving as a trigger to remind you to do something
different. For example:
·
Crave coffee? On your way to the coffee pot, practice
appreciating the person who makes it.
·
Crave sweets? Let the desire for sweetness remind you to text or
phone your spouse.
Practice appreciating your spouse, a family member or difficult
person for something he/she does well, and watch the difference it makes.
Mistake #3 — Blame God for not coming through
for you. Feel like He doesn’t have your back? Or that He is ignoring you?
Instead of being angry with God, ask to see your situation through His eyes.
This is called “having an Immanuel moment.”
Anger at God that seethes below the surface spoils
relationships, with leaders and volunteers, but is especially corrosive to
relationships at home. Seeing from God’s perspective changes attitudes;
feelings come into alignment with His will and emotions settle.
Low joy in life can take you on a downward spiral of depression,
addiction, low self-esteem and discouragement.
Benefits
of Joy
-- Joy keeps relationships bigger than the problems. It can rebuild
relationships at work and home; bring freedom from addictions and cravings. It
renews relationship with God.
Joy is
powerful medicine!
Order a copy of Share Immanuel and learn more about how
to have an Immanuel Lifestyle, click here.
Learn the 19 Thrive skills. Attend the Thrive Training Register here:
July
14th to July 18, 2014
THRIVE training in East Peoria, IL.
Relational brain skills give you the edge.
Fewer ideas and MORE solutions.
Hands-on training in the 19 skills.
Joy changes everything.
THRIVE training in East Peoria, IL.
Relational brain skills give you the edge.
Fewer ideas and MORE solutions.
Hands-on training in the 19 skills.
Joy changes everything.
Attend Connexus classes or bring a Connexus class to your
church. For more information on Connexus go here.
[1] Wilder, E. James
PhD., Khouri, Edward M., Coursey, Chris M., Sutton, Shelia D., Joy Starts Here,
Shepherd’s House, Peroia, Il, 2013. ISBN 978-1-935629-10-8.
[2] Wilder, E. James,
PhD, Living From The
Heart Jesus Gave You, Revised, Shepherd’s House, 2,000, p. 11.
[3] BEEPS are Behaviors, Experiences, Events, People and
Substances. For more information on BEEPS click here.
See also Ed Khori’s YouTube channel.
If
you have comments or questions be sure to pop them into the comment box. We are
happy to reply!
May your joy be full,
Chris & Carol
Chris Coursey, MA Theology — Author, Speaker and Thrive Trainer,
www.thrivingtoday.org
Twitter - @coursey_chris
Carol Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity
and Highly Sensitive www.fromgodsheart.com
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