... If someone’s brain doesn’t know the way back to joy from sadness or fear, then they cannot make a loving open rebuke—a faithful correction. They could still make a correction from their anger, but that will be for self or from being out of control. It wouldn’t be for the sake of the other. If someone’s brain knows the way back to joy from sadness or fear, then they can risk losing the relationship for a time or even risk losing it permanently. They can risk giving a loving correction and risk being seen and talked about as being a mean person because they love the other person even more than they love the comfort that comes from the relationship, like Jesus.
... It takes time to build new connections in the brain and it takes time for the heart to heal from old hurts when ongoing behaviors create more wounds. But it is possible and vitally important to learn brain skills that were missing in the family dynamic. Learning the skills makes it possible to stop the hurtful patterns from repeating in successive generations.
http://www.joystarters.com/2014/05/19/when-essential-brain-skills-are-missing-case-study-part-2/
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